Yesterday’s questions are gone. Were they answered? Not really. But there’s no need to worry about them, for I know my redeemer lives. He loves me and I love Him. That is something I need to say more. I ask for forgiveness, favors, blessings and thanks Him. But how often do I speak of my love to Him? Thank You and I love You.
One of Jesus’s teachings haunts me. He talks of the servant who buries his talent until the return of the Master. Am that servant? I want to earn for Him. But what is my talent? What am I to invest in? How am I supposed to that? I tried. But failed. Is it okay to invest wrong and lose it? Jesus didn’t talk about that. Or perhaps it is impossible to fail, because it is your intentions. Or God’s seeking something else. It is about your growth. Be brave and march forward. For though He is away, He is always with you. The talent is a reminder of that. If you failed in the eyes of the world, that’s okay. Why should I care about them. My Father is proud of me. Even if I fail.
When I look at God’s love, this unconditional, agape kind of love, then all is fine. Everything I have now is because of Him. Everything. Anything beyond that is His gift onto me. Hence everything is a gift from Him. What am I to ask for more? It’s the catholic mentality, as the sociologist calls it. But shouldn’t this be a protestant mentality, too? Gaining worldly riches as proof of God’s love is foolish. Prosperity theology is simply wrong. Ministers and churches gaining worldly riches for their own gain from the flocks of sheep is not just wrong but disgusting. So what am I to do? If I were ever in the same situation, what would I do? Keep my gold and lock myself in my mansion? I would say to myself, “I earned all this. I deserve this.” Just give my ten percent and live lavishly? I hope that day never comes. Not that I don’t want a sheltered life. But I pray that God’ll let me know what to do with my “imaginary” worldly gains. Keep me centered with His words. Returning to zero each time so I can see Him more clearly.
Life’s been busy for me, and thus I missed yesterday’s post. Though it is not a sin to miss an entry, I still feel sorrow. I write to remind myself. But often that is not enough. To live everyday, every second, reminded of Him. I do find myself more aware now. Perhaps it’s too much on my shoulders to know all of it at once. That’s why He’s showing to me bit by bit. I’ll continue to write and remind myself. Because that is what’s in my blood. His blood in me.
God gently guides me with His firm hands, calming the sea and lifting above the storm. What the future holds, I don’t know. But I know He knows. Give me strength, give me courage, O Lord. Continue to remind me of the things You have done for me so I don’t lose faith. I thank Thee. Amen.
Dreams often show the inner desires and struggles more clearly than reality. The uncensored self touches upon the problems during the day. But it is important to know that it is just a dream. Just because you had a dream about being with your high school sweetheart, doesn’t mean you should leave your perfectly fine marriage to be with that person. It probably means that there are some unresolved tension in your relationship. Or that it is just a dream. I thank God for all the stories He prepared for me in my dreams, whether I’m awake or asleep. And please forgive me for the tensions I brought onto other and myself, whether awake or asleep.
Being a pastor must be hard; preaching the same message, but packaging it differently every Sunday, finding new wrinkles to talk about. But that is the life of a christian. We already know our fate. But it is not our time yet. So we must continue, plow forward. Let God be God. Let us be His servant.